The Cruising Life: 24 Aug - Questions For Cruisers

I am no longer cruising full time. There, I've said it.

Yet there was a time when I numbered myself among the degenerate masses, aimlessly wandering the seas and oceans (not quite sure about the distinction, mind you). We had our code and we lived by it. We rarely allowed outsiders inside, and tolerated them only when personal gain seemed probable. For one thing, "they" kept asking questions we couldn't answer, or didn't want to contemplate. Here are some of the deal breakers.


Question One: How long does it take to get from ... to ... ?

Wrong Answer: 3 days, 7 hours, and 24 minutes.

Right Answer: There is no right answer. Cruisers get somewhere and realize that Doris and Fred on Bottomscraper are there. This means they're in a good spot and it's time to start the party. It really doesn't matter that everyone has another 1200 miles to the planned destination. The concept of "right now" is much more important that the idea of "destination." Besides it takes forever to get to the "destination," and I'm not even going to get into the part about tacking and light winds and that sort of thing. After all, it's now now and I have important stuff to do. Now.


Question Two: When you sail to Bermuda, do you anchor each night?

Wrong Answer: Only if we are making a souffle for dinner.

Right Answer: Listen, idiot, and I'm only gonna tell you one time. If you buy the 6 miles of anchor rode and pull it up each morning, it's a deal.


Queston Three: How much does this boat cost?

Wrong Answer: $63, 500.

Right Answer: $24, 700, two good jobs, 1.6 marriages, 8 tuition payments, and one's sense of humor.


Question Four: Do you really live in Wilmington, Delaware?

Wrong Answer: Well, my accountant told me ... (on and on for 15 to 20 minutes).

Right Answer: Yes.


Question Five: How many does it sleep?

Wrong Answer: The sales brochure says eight adults and two cats.

Right Answer: This boat sleeps 2, feeds 8, drinks 12, and tolerates essentially no one. so get the &*%$#! outta here now.